Friday, May 2, 2014

Queen Baby

The babysitting of my mind is a full time job, and I have a lot of growing up to do.  

I now realize my recovery (serenity) depends on a lot more than, just not drinking.   

'His Majesty the Baby’, was the phrase used by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud to describe an attitude that combines inborn egotism with childlike fear and irresponsibility. 

In the quest to always be right, and get their way, Queen Babies display a range of characteristics.  No one has all of these attributes, but again and again, I recognize myself in many of the attitudes listed below: 

  • Often become angry or afraid of authority figures and will attempt to work them against each other in order to get their own way
  • Seek approval and frequently lose their own identities in the process
  • able to make good first impression but unable to follow through
  • have difficulty accepting personal criticism and become threatened and angry when criticized
  • have addictive personalities and are driven to extremes
  • are often immobilized by anger and frustration and are rarely satisfied
  • are usually lonely even when surrounded by people
  • are chronic complainers who blame others for what is wrong in their lives
  • feel unappreciated and think they don't fit
  • see the world as a jungle filled with selfish people who aren't there for them
  • see everything as a catastrophe, a life or death satiation
  • judge life in absolutes: black and white, right and wrong
  • live in the past, fearful of the future
  • have strong feeling of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment
  • fear failure and rejections and don't try new things that they might not do well
  • are obsessed with money and material things
  • dream big plans and schemes and have little ability to make them happen
  • cannot tolerate illness in themselves or others
  • prefer to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates
  • believe rules and laws are for others, not for themselves
  • often become addicted to excitement, life in the fast lane
  • hold emotional pain within and lose touch with their feelings

In the last week, I have referred to this list while reflecting on my day to day interactions - um, I mean, annoyances.  After all, I am the common denominator, and maybe, just maybe, the problem starts with me, and my attitudes.  

The good news is, I won't have to wait for the rest of the world to shape up, because if the problem lies within me, the solution lies within me, too. 

Self awareness is the first step.   :)

Recall a recent negative interaction:  

Does your attitude reflect any of the King/Queen Baby traits listed above? 

Where can you take responsibility, and let the person off the hook?

Source:  Cunningham, Tom. King Baby. N.p.: Hazelden, n.d. Print.